


An old and broken soul/ rewritten *not polished, yet*

by Fighting_for_creativity



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Torchwood
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Psychic Abilities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-20 10:10:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13715457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighting_for_creativity/pseuds/Fighting_for_creativity
Summary: Ianto had always been special.He had secrets and some were rather dark, just like everyone else.One day everything is too much and he snaps.Can Torchwood Three safe him?!!!! It is a rewritten story and the different storyline is starting with chapter 6 so for everyone who knows the original you can skip till chapter "A glimps of Ianto Jones secrets". That one actually contains some new phrases and background. So please bear with the ´old´stuff. Thanks!!!!!!





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [An old and broken soul](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12845415) by [Fighting_for_creativity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighting_for_creativity/pseuds/Fighting_for_creativity). 



> Finally did it. Yet I am still in Hospital so slow updating sorry guys.
> 
> please enjoy

Ianto Jones liked his life. He had friends, a good and exciting job and he had the love of his life. Or that was what he told himself. He loved Lisa, he really did. But sometimes at night, there were dreams of a past or future, he couldn't pinpoint when, were he laid in someone's else's arms and felt so much more secure. He would dream of fires and humans turned to robots. He would dream of a pterosaurian and the hunt for it.

 

Sometimes he would dream of Lisa being one of those humanoid robots. Sometimes he dreamt he was lying in a male's arms, dying. There were days, when nothing concerned him. When he felt detached and untouchable. No emotion could reach his brain and no worry could cloud his judgement.

 

There were also these days when everything was crashing down on him. The feelings of others, not only those in the close proximity of his but in a wide range. The thoughts of people he touched accidentally, one reason why he never NEVER took the subway, and the visions he came to term with having.

 

Lisa tried to be understanding on those days. Not really knowing what went on with Ianto, for he never told anyone. Ianto knew, should any member of Torchwood ever find out, he would be a prime experiment subject. That was a part of his job he hated. Knowing more than others, finding out more than others.

 

On the bad days he took drugs to get a disconnection between his wrongness and the feelings. His brain clears and is able to handle the muffled version of onslaught emotions. He never talked about his family. He never talked about his live in Cardiff. And, most importantly, he never talked about his feelings. Except his love for Lisa.

 

After Canary Wharf and after his suspension from Torchwood three, which should have been his execution, he never tried deliberately to hid again. He had a few secrets left. Ianto Jones was aware that neither of their team, while trying to befriend him now, had any clue what else he had hidden. He wasn't so sure he wanted anyone to know. But the cannibals did the trick.  
Because of the cannibals he snapped.


	2. unwanted Memories

It was the day after they had returned and rested, that Ianto distributed their coffee in the conference room, when he accidently brushed Tosh´s shoulder, and found a memory of himself kneeling in front of her, ready to be killed. He screamed and scrambled away from her. Holding his head and shaking violently. He was unable to respond to the others concerned calls of his name and questions.

 

"Ianto?!", Gwen was kneeling beside the archivist and reached out to touch him. But as soon as her fingers braced Ianto's arm, she recoiled. Images of fire and cybermen floating shortly in front of her eyes. Shocked she looked wide eyed at Ianto.  
"What was that?", she asked breathily. The other team members of Torchwood three were rotten in place. They had no idea how to help the trembling man on the floor. Jack tried to talk soothingly and even Owen knelt in a nonthreatening way.  
When the still got no response from Ianto, Jack tried to embrace him, despite to protest of the team. Jack should have listen. Because as soon as he was as much as in touching range, Ianto's eyes snapped to him in utter disbelief and fear. It was Lisa all over again and the immortals heart ached.  
Tears were rolling off Ianto's cheeks and soon the fear and disbelief was forced behind a dull look. Dull and nearly lifeless. Gwen gasped and Toshiko felt sorrow in her heart. Owen cursed under his breath and Jack was helpless.

 

Then, as if a switch was pulled, the archivist smiled sadly and whispered: "I am glad that I had met you all. When I will wake up again, never touch me again. My shields are broken, my mentally unstable. I need rebuilding time, and I can´t know about it. Don´t tell me what happened. I will erase the last two years of my memory. Never try to make me remember. I will remember being part of Torchwood three. I will remember my loyalty to you. But I won't remember any cases, any relationships and feelings. I simply won't be Ianto Jones anymore. I won't remember Lisa, Canary Wharf or even the start of work here. I will simply conduct a story saying that I was rectonend by accident and had been here for two years working. I hope I can count on you. No one of you try to make me remember. That is everything I am asking."

 

His voice had been dull, nearly robotic like. But his last sentences were heart wrenching pleas. No one knew what to say to this. Then Ianto collapsed.

 

Jack and Owen brought him to the medical bay and installed every thinkable monitoring system on him. Unbeknown to them Ianto started to dissolve every memory of the past two years.

 

After two hours Toshiko asked the one important question: "Jack, can he do that?"  
"I am not sure. I have once encountered a race capable to change others minds and memories but a human?", he whispered.

 

With ferocity neither of them had felt in a long while, each one of them started research. They needed to know what that all was about.

 

Owen tried the medical approach, scanning and breaking into the medical files of Ianto from Torchwood one. Coming up with a blank.

 

Gwen tried to find similar cases within police accounts but found none.

 

Tosh raided the archives and piled files open files not only on her computer but also around her desk.

 

Jack dealt with everything the rift thrown them that day.

 

It was the next morning when Ianto woke up.  
Everyone was feeling rather nervous and soon they found out that they had all the right to be.  
Owen stood closed to Ianto and was about to ask when Gwen blurrted out: "What is the last you remember?"

 

For this she got an annoyed groan from Owen and disappointed looks from the rest.  
But Ianto looked at them all with mild confusion and an air of lightness. He croched his head a bit and spoke slowly: "I was handing out coffee and then had a bad headache. Which in the end caused me to faint."

 

Before Gwen could ask anymore, Owen contributed: "What had happened two days ago?"  
Everyone wanted to forget about that but as much as they wanted to forget it, was vital information, if Ianto could remember or not.

 

"I... I was rearranging the archives and have done my job as always. You were coming back from your team bonding and had been running late."  
That was an answer no one wanted to hear. After several more questions, all of which avoided Lisa, they had a fairly picture of how Ianto saw himself in Torchwood and the past two years.  
Only Owen and Jack had manage to stay till the end of the interview. The girls had been sickened and heart wrenched by the time Gwen replacing Suzie had come up.

 

After a while Owen gave Ianto a strong sedative, when he showed signs of pain and started to panic again.

 

Later, they had resumed to work, or at least tried until Jack told them to heed home, they realized what each and everyone of them had lost yet again.

 

Gwen had lost a good collages, willing to mend bridges.

 

Owen a man he could banter with and had always a witty come back for him.

 

Tosh a friend.

 

And Jack all of it and a bit more he wasn't willing to admit to.


	3. Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets tipsy and Ianto is doing something stupid
> 
> Still not polished

Jack felt devastated. He wasn't aware of how much Ianto had started to mean to him until the welshman had collapsed. The cannibals weren't enough, no the universe was set to destroy Ianto, or so it seemed. His mood was particularly dark and he poured himself his third whisky, when a soft knock paused him. Looking up in alert, only to see his beautiful Jones standing awkwardly in the door, leaning a bit at the frame.

 

"What can I do for you, Ianto", he blurrted out when his slightly sluggish brain registered, the man shouldn't be out of the medical bay. "And you have to rest. Doctors orders!"

 

Licking his lips nervously he replied: "I know, Sir. But I couldn't sleep anymore."  
After a pause he added: "May I sit with you?"  
Taken aback by the request Jack stupidly shook his head.  
"Oh. I thought so, still... ehm. Fine. I try to get some work done. If you need me I'll be-"

 

"Stay!", he all but shooted and felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment. Cautiously the younger male walked further into the room and set opposite from Jack. A smile small of gratitude and insecure fidgeting with his hands, when Ianto sat done, was all the response the Captain got. Somehow that angered Jack and he was about to lash out when the quiet welshman said:  
"The questions today... what really happened to me?"

 

This was unexpected and unwelcomed. Jack wasn't sure how he should answer as Ianto had begged for them all to not make him remember. Sighing softly, Jack settled for a half lie: "Listen Ianto, I don't know. One moment you touched Tosh accidently, the next you had a nervous breakdown. We all want to find out, but think it is maybe for the best, if at least for now, we let you recover and remember on your own terms without interfering much."

 

Considering the words of the immortal Ianto smiled nervously and inclined his head once. Then he started to push himself out of the chair and said: "I should get the work done I have missed out on. It is unfair to the team, if their butler can´t-"  
For the second time this night Ianto got cut off. Jack had slammed his fist down hard on his table and glared murderously at him. Ianto stilled like a deer caught in the headlight and his heart rate increased. Not trusting his voice he searched Jack's angry face for an answer he had not asked the question for.

 

Breathing a couple of times to calm down, he only managed to increase his frustration as Ianto still stood half risen.  
"Sit!", he bought out between clenched teeth. And was immediately obeyed. The other man's eyes followed his movements when he himself stood up and went to a cabinet, taking another bottle out and returning to the desk.  
"I don't know what you believe you mean to any of us, but it is not that!" , he spit and nursed his drink.

 

Ianto knew. He always was aware that he was nothing to the others. The only reason he had, the only allowance to exist, was being able to service. Being told, that he wasn't even the butler he felt fear grip him. He didn't want to leave Torchwood. He loved his work and while sometimes it was hard to hold on to that joy when he was left behind, he still felt propose. But Jack just said, that he wasn't even that. Raw and wild fear choked him. He used the silence between them to evaluate what he was sure of was the truth. When Jack had hired him, he had seen lust shining in the other man's eyes. When he first started he had gotten on rocky with everyone but won them over due his efficiency. Jack had hitted on him and flirted with him until Gwen joined. While Ianto liked Gwen nice enough, he had shortly felt jealousy. But he knew, that Owen and her were shagging, so Jack was currently not able to attain her. Wasn't he? He knew that in their past in Torchwood Owen had bisexuell encounters but stuck mostly to the female sex. Gwen was a loving woman, but needed someone who was able to understand her work. Then there was Toshiko to consider. She was intelligent and Ianto felt, that she liked him for his personality, although he didn´t understand how anyone could like him.

 

Slowly a plan started to form in his mind. He needed to show his captain his uses. The anger had vanished and was replaced by concern. But all the while there was also an air of sexuell frustration. Ianto had felt it the moment he walked in and he needed to seize the moment.

 

"Sir?", Ianto played on the captain's protectiveness when he made his shoulders slump and his head hang a bit. Looking shyly under dark lashes towards Jack.  
Jack was baffled. He couldn't gauge Ianto's reaction and in his inebriated state, he wasn't really capable of seeing through the act. So he set his glass down and leaned forward. "Ianto... I..."

 

"Sir, do you still want me?"

 

His plan was easy. Luring Jack into believing he needed to be protected by the man and inspiring lust afterwards. It was a dirty trick and it was whoring himself. But he couldn't care less. He needed to stay in Torchwood. It was everything he had left. Why that was he wasn't sure. But his goal in mind he couldn't dwell on such things. His musing had cost him to notice the surprised look on Jack's face.

 

"Ianto! What is that for a question!", he had rosen and rounded the table to stand beside Ianto, who looked as traumatized as he did after his suspension. Hesitating the leader knelt beside Ianto and lay his hand on Ianto's knee. He tried to be reassuring. His alarm bells tried to ring off but were numbed by the alcohol.

 

"Sir... Jack...", he purred Jack's name. He had the flashes of memory where Jack wanted more often than not that he dropped the Sir. So he tried to appeal to Jack the most. In a quiet and vulnerable voice he said: "I could understand, if I offend you with this, but since you always flirted with me I was hoping..."

 

Deliberately trailing off and turning his face a bit away from Jack, he felt the tightening of the older man´s hand and knew he had him hooked.

 

Wide eyed the captain tried to process what he was hearing. "Are you... do you want to...?"

 

Jack was lost for words. So often had he imagine how he would take the younger male to bed and make love to him. Never simple sex, not after their hunt for Myfanwy. He always thought of prizing the younger man for all his deed for Torchwood, for him and his team. Then Lisa happend and he wasn't so sure, he wanted Ianto anymore. Only to realize, that he had been deeply hurt by betrayal, not by a hurt ego. He had come to terms with his affection for the welshman and had tried to stifle it. Sure he still lusted after him, but he did his best to ignore those needs. The Cannibal incident enchanted the need to protect his brave dark haired Ianto. He had been the one with the least field experience, and yet he had handled it the best. Jack had felt proud and like they now belonged to a real team. Each and everyone of them a member with the same value.

 

Therefore Ianto's answers to their questioning in the morning had hurt worst than the betrayal, even worst than being left by the doctor. He had failed again and again. Every moment they had known each other, Ianto had rewritten into a rather depressing story. If that wasn't enough, he also seemed to believe that he was only kept due some resistance against Retcon and the others wouldn't want him dead because it was too much work.

 

That had made Jack Harkness really sad and tired. In that moment he had felt all those immortal years. Ianto had gladly changed his memory into being literally a slave to Torchwood until he died. A slave no one really cared about as long as he was efficient. He had needed to forget those disturbing thoughts and had turned to his alcohol stash.

 

And in his darkest mood, Ianto had came to him for answers, which he couldn´t give.  
Before he could muse more, he felt tender fingers caressing his hand and cheek. Focusing again he saw a shy yet determined expression on Ianto's face. The touches were innocent and pure.  
"I would be honored if you took me to your bed."  
It was a daring move, he was aware of that. But he needed to risk it. He had seen the far away look Jack started to have. The welshman needed to get the other man's full attention and want. He needed to ensure, that Captain Jack Harkness wanted to bed him again.

 

Later when Jack had embraced Ianto and drifted of, the dark haired man reached out with his mind to see for himself, if he had satisfied his boss's needs for now and was still wanted. As he skimmed the outskirts of Jack's mind he found most thoughts were about him in a good way. Jack seemed to have enjoyed it immensely and wanted a repeat.

 

`The only question is, how can I make myself desirable for as long as possible. I can't always refuse or accept him. I need to gauge when it would be good timing and when not. I have to experiment a bit in the near future´ he thought while he stared up with lifeless eyes.


	4. Lovebites can be treacherous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Owen sometimes hates his Job.
> 
> Jack get´s an earful.
> 
> And generally everyone is ashamed.

For the next weeks the members of Torchwood established a new routine.  
Ianto would still be the first in the hub and had coffee ready when the others came in. Then he would disappear in the archives and reciprocated whatever attempt of socializing his coworkers tried.

 

Tosh, Gwen and Owen were always far before their usual time there. They tried to tidy after themselves and resumed their researches from before Ianto's awaking. They all have sensed that the young man was trying to sink into oblivion and they did their best to engage him in friendly chatter. Every day they all left at the same time only for Ianto to decline any invitations from going to a pub with Owen, over having a friendly dinner with Gwen and to walking with Tosh.

 

When their attempts became a regularity, Ianto subtle started to flirt with all three of them to anchor his place in the hub.  
But he belonged now to Jack and therefore always returned after their goodbyes and invitations to Jack's office. Ianto was not quite sure what was expected of him on most nights. But he made coffee for Jack and sat down when he was gestured to. Jack would tell him a story or two and then asked him if he wanted to go home or would like to stay.  
Whenever Jack asked that question, Ianto concentrated to sort Jack's feelings and found always genuine hope there amongst lust and protectiveness. So he stayed and had sex with his boss like the slut he believed himself to be.

 

After four weeks of this new routine Owen wanted to make a medical check up and found love bites courtesy of Jack. Owen was furious. Ianto sat shell shocked there, unable to explain himself. He felt Owens furry and tried to cover himself when the others stormed in. He really didn't need to see them being disappointed in him for being a whore. `But better a whore than a nothing, right?´ he tried to calm himself.

 

Jack came running in with the others and was confused as to why Owen was shouting curses.

 

"What is going on Owen?", Gwen asked as she saw Ianto starring shocked and then started to became apathetic.

 

In no time Tosh was beside Ianto and wanted to hug him, when Owen held her away from the welshman.

 

"No one, and I mean no one, touches teaboy, until I know what, or better who had done this to him.", Owens anger was evident in his whole posture and his words.  
Jack was really confused and concerned now. Ianto seemed to be fine since their first love making and had not complained in anyway. Jack had not been around too much in the hub, as he had tried to handle most rift activity on his own, but he had watched the CCTV and thought, that Ianto seemed more vibrant and lively than before. 

 

But seeing the quiet man starring apathetically into nothingness, Jack felt his insides clenched. He should have known, that nothing was ok. But he was too happy to have his wicked way with that beautiful man than to realize, that something still was very much off. He had believed that Ianto was finally understanding how appreciated and loved he was.  
Looking at him now, Jack knew that wasn't the case.  
"Owen, what had happened?", Gwen asked worriedly.

 

Instead of an answer Owen demanded of each individual a bite example. Confused as to why Gwen wanted to object, when Jack halted her.

 

"Owen, you won't need to test the girls. I know what you want to test for, and I really had thought this was never coming up in that way, but yes Ianto has been sexual active. For the past weeks he and me had enjoyed each other's company, or so I thought...", whispered Jack.

 

His voice was insecure and broken. He saw a young angry man shouting in his face what a monster he was. The same fierce man sat now in front of Torchwood and starred unresponsive at a wall. And that was all his fault. Because he had misjudged yet again.

 

"WHAT?! JACK! Some of those bites are a bit deep and had drawn actuell blood! How could you?"

 

Tosh teared up at that notion and turned her head between her most trusted leader and her best friend. Then she looked at Ianto and shivered.

 

"It was in the heat of the act. I had asked him before if he would mind if I got a bit rough with him... He said he wouldn't beca-", interrupting himself Jack finally realized something. "Ianto... How do you view yourself?" Jack's voice was laced with fear and that was reason enough to sober the others up and dreading Ianto's reply.

 

Slowly, as if he was awaking out of a deep slumber, Ianto looking towards Jack and his eyes fixed again. With a sad little smile he said: "I am whatever I will be needed for. Should Gwen need a shoulder to cry on, I will gladly give consultation. Should Owen need a test subject, I gladly volunteer to that. Should Toshiko need a researcher, I just be that. And should you need a whore, so I shall be a whore, living up to your needs. Everything to be able to stay in Torchwood."

 

Toshiko and Gwen couldn't believe their ears. They turned to each other in shock and tried to comfort the other while crying.  
Owen stood there motionless and wheels in his head turned.

 

Jack was on the edge of madness. His beautiful man couldn't see his true worth and believed he was going to be kicked out... ´If he not sleeps with you, Harkness. You are such a great boss, really!´  
He needed a moment to come to a conclusion.  
"Owen... sedated him until we find a solution to his memory problem!", he demanded. Ianto's face crossed a shocked look, which was shortly replaced by resignation. He laid down and waited patiently for his punishment.

 

Owen didn't hesitate to do as he was ordered. He knew no one in the team could currently deal with their guilt and fear.

 

But he also knew when he saw Ianto's eyelids closed, that he would move heaven and hell to help him.


	5. Conference room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toshiko is putting down her feet.  
> Rhys is mentioned and Owen kind of saves Jack from selfhatered.

Much later they sat down in the conference room brooding. They all knew that this got them nowhere but they really needed it. Especially Jack. He was the closed off person in the room until Toshiko slammed her fist on the table, shaking everyone with surprise.  
"We can't stay like this! We need to get our wits together and help him! There must be something we had overlooked so far. I refuse to believe, that this is how he really sees his role here. And I will move heaven and hell to find it. But-" , and here her was changed from angry to deadly, "I swear, if Ianto isn't able to accept that he is not a slave or a whore or any such nonsense, I will kill you Jack. Because you had fucked him when he was most vulnerable! And that obviously fucked his mind!" The use of so crude language was evidence to Toshiko Sato's furious state.

 

"I know. He came to me four weeks ago after all of you went home. If I hadn't been drinking I would have realized then, that he wasn't offering sex because he wanted but he believed he was expected. After all he said:  
"I could understand, if I offend you with this, but since you always flirted with me I was hoping...."  
After he already said how unfair it was of a butler, his not my words, to leave so much work and asking me if I still wanted him. If I hadn't been drinking I would have reacted better and just send him back to the medical bay. Instead I was afraid of him leaving. Afraid of failure. And so I just happened to fail him even more!" he finished with a bitter and cynical laugh.

 

Gwen tried to calm them: "Jack you coudln´t-"

 

"DON´T GWEN. I could have known! I should have known. You and Tosh weren't there but me and Owen. He described his last two years like he was a slave who actually believed to deserve it. He is firm in his believe to have been working here for two freaking years, with my constant advances. So I should have known. Who would reject two years long someone only to suddenly agree to everything that someone wants."

 

Silence rang louder than any outcry could. Jack felt nauseated. He had not once stopped and considered the reason behind Ianto's sudden interest in him. He should have. He was an immortal with too many lives lived and wasted. He should have felt that something was off. But no, he was too selfish and to horney to stop even a second. He loathed himself.  
It was Owens quiet: "We aren´t better Jack." which got him out of his dark resume. Looking sceptical towards Owen, he waited for the Doctor to elaborate.

 

"Shit... we really aren't any better. I mean, Gwen, hadn't Ianto let you touch him since last week? I mean, I saw you both in the archives and he had an arm around you well you hugged him tightly and sobbed. And Tosh, hadn´t Ianto taken extra care to organize your schedule and place a few well timed compliments as well as kinda innocent touches. And you had embraced it. And I? I am probably the worst. When I came in late two days ago Ianto had already been in the tourist office and I had felt playful and snarked at him, that he is probably the most prudish office slut I ever encountered. He only smiled softly and said: "I can be rather a rather satisfying slut." I thought he was joking alongside me and I damn idiot said: "No one is satisfying until I have said so, so teaboy we have to test that theory of yours!" "

 

All of them had been ashamed and afraid when Ianto had accused them of not having any interest in him. Now they simply felt sick.

 

Ianto did so much for them on a simple daily basis, and they never thanked him probably. Or when they tried they destroyed more than they repair, it seemed.

 

The fire of hatred and anger Tosh had felt flamed up again. Standing she run out of the conference room only to return with a stack of files later. These she all but throw towards Gwen. "Gwen, Owen, Jack we need the main equipment here so we can work together better. That is the least we can do for him!"

 

They each looked at each other and nodded. Motivated not only by their guilt but by a strong compassion for Ianto they changed the conference room into a network and researcher office. Tosh connected the main database and split screened the projector, so everyone could see the files the others were working on. Even Jack stayed and started on the high confidential files only a torchwood leader had access to.

 

The others tried not to get distracted by the information displayed and for the most part it   
worked.

 

Tosh felt slightly guilty for her outburst but worked even more determined. They only left the room for nature calls or in Owens case to look after Ianto for a few minutes. Only when Rhys called Gwen, they realized, that neither of them had eaten or drunk much that day. Jack looked in the round, while Gwen reassured Rhys she was alright but they needed to help a fellow colleague and she won't be at home. He saw the concentration and the will not to let Ianto down another time. So instead of sending them home, which he knew everyone would object, Jack took Gwen's phone and said seriously: "Hello here is Gwen's boss, Jack Harkness. Could you do us the favor and organise microwave food for 3 days for four and a few vegetables. We will compensate the cost. Gwen will take them from you at the plaza Cardiff bay. And while you at it, a change of clothes in the following sizes and styles.... yes... Thank you Rhys. We will know when you arrive. Until next time." And he hung up. When he refocused on his team they stared unbelievingly at him for a few moments. Than they all smiled gratefully and reinforced their attempts.  
After Gwen met with Rhys, and Tosh had been sent with to handle all the stuff, they allowed themselves a short break. Jack had heated the first set of meals, Tosh had made coffee, Gwen tieded the conference room enough to put their food down and Owen hunted down blankets and pillows, while checking on Ianto once more.

 

They sat down to eat in a subdued atmosphere. The only saving grace they had, was the rifts inactivity.

 

Yet again they had established a new routine and it was their third day in that way when Tosh snapped. "FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

 

The others had never heard her this frustrated but could relate. Their tempers were all short. Jack tried to be as cool headed as possible, seeing as last time he had damaged Ianto even more when he allowed feelings to get the better of him. He stood up and walked towards Tosh. "What is it, Tosh?" , he asked as gentle as he could in this situation.

 

Thankfully the japanese woman appreciated that gesture and pointed frustrated on her screen. "This makes no sense! I have checked everything of the archives and helped Owen to break into the Torchwood one medical files of Ianto, but they are completely non descriptive. Then I checked the computer in the Tourist Information Office, but there was nothing. Still I downloaded the data base and now that I want to access it, it requires an eye scan! That shouldn't be! Only Torchwood structure endangering stuff requires that!"

 

"Get the eye scanner."

 

"What?"

 

"If this database requires eye scans we will give them. Owen you will collect Ianto's in your next check up."

 

"Jack do you think?", Gwen asked hesitantly.

 

"Whatever is hidden there, it is important. And to be frank with you, I don't care what dark secrets we will unravel or what we will disturb. Ianto has gone through a lot of shit. And if I can make amends in anyway, I will. Like you said it earlier, move heaven and hell.", Jack told his team.  
They looked at each other shortly until all of them smiled. They had forgiven Jack for his recklessness and they knew if they manage Ianto to remember he would forgive Jack as well.


	6. A glimpse of Ianto Jones secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes preparation is everything.
> 
> And the archivist excels in that area.
> 
> A bit of Iantos life before and with Torchwood One and with Lisa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys here starts the new intersting part. I really hope I´ll be able to upload somewhat regulary every saturday or sunday.
> 
> Enjoy <3

Tosh had finished the last scan and loaded it into the computer. The confirmation process took longer than normally and she felt nervous that they had done something wrong. Not wrong in the sense of morals, she was past caring. Wrong in the sense they blown their only chance to save Ianto.

Finally there was a soft ping and the split screens were removed from the projector. Shortly there was a black screen on Tosh laptop but soon they heard and saw Ianto, sitting in the archives recording. Wrong archives but definitely archives.

"Hello, my name is Ianto Jones. While I hope this isn't necessary, I was taught to be prepared for everything. Whoever is currently in charge of Torchwood one, or god forbid, whatever organisation came after, you stumbled over this information because you investigated into my person. I probably should feel honoured, but I admit I am more concerned. I still doubt I should do this, I hope that whoever you are, the information I will provide helps to save the day, as my friends here would say.

My official files states that I was born on 19. August 1983, which is incorrect. I was born on the 20th of May 1985. Further my file records one older sister and two passed parents, which is falsified as well. I was adopted and therefore have no known blood relatives. I was mostly raised by my older sister and or granny. While they are not my family by blood, they are by heart and soul. When I was 14 I ran away and was found by some alien race. Torchwood One soon found and freed me. My files were falsified in order to protect me.” 

“I never told anyone, but there was one of the captives, also alien, who was so much human, that he blended right in and so I never told Torchwood. He and me pretended to be friends, both born in Cardiff, which you can guess is wrong as well. I had been born in Ogmar Valle, a small village rumoured for their strangeness. Every decade or so there is at least one child born with a heightened awareness and strange behaviour. In my case the reason for being kidnapped. I never cried, I never shouted, I never laughed, I never fooled around like the others.

But I always was in contact with the strangest beings. When I was a child, I called them fews and beus, and many different names. Here in Torchwood I learned of a few official names. They are called Fairies and Weevils and Judoon. My grandmother had always told me to keep this a secret, to stay away from other humans because no one understands. Then I was found by Torchwood. My alien friend and I joined, me in the archives, he as field agent. On the side we have been researchers and he had gotten the offer to start UNIT training. While I became the PA of the Torchwood leader Yvonne Hartman. Which helped a great deal to conceal the sudden disappearance of my friend.

Sadly it also meant that we needed to be even more careful when we met and soon stopped all together. I never heard of him again. My abilities should never have been found. Then came the ghost shift project. As every member of Torchwood had been tested for psychic abilities, and while I tried to downplay mine, they had found a letter from my older sister, asking if I still believe in telepathy and such. They forced me to participate and from then on everything went downhill."

The screen Ianto had been stoic the whole time but now he sighed sadly and got a faraway look. A few seconds passed until he snapped back and continued: "Many other test subjects got killed or became mad. From the 50 participants only 15 survived, only three of them with their mind intact. A woman named Rose Tyler, Rajesh Singh and me. We had seen the void. We know what comes after death, that was what drove most crazy or into suicide. After the first killed themselves they decided to stop the project and wiped our memories of the most awful day. I know I haven't coped well with what I have seen, but instead of erasing my memory like they intended, they only detached me from them. I can look at those without feeling it being me.

Soon Yvonne wanted to try again, while Rose stayed for unknown reason to me, Rajesh left without a trace and I stayed for my girlfriend. It was foolish for me to believe that Lisa would understand what I am. What my abilities can do. I let her in on it. She screamed what kind of a monster I was. That was until I rearranged her memories.

And here is probably what interest you most, my abilities. I decided to bury them and detach myself from them as soon as possible, but I will let a gateway open, should they ever be needed to save this planet. I am a born empathy with telekinesis and telepathy abilities. Meaning, I know how people feel around me and if I wish I can read and rearrange their thoughts. I can either delete information or implant. Same goes for emotion. I have the ability to shield a mind from those attacks as well. Additionally in strong emotional moments I can move things with my will alone, or can they make stop moving. I stopped to have the ability to see possibilities. With the touch of the void it returned. 

I am able to see, mostly in my dreams, what each and every decision can change for the universe. It is frightening most times. I hope whoever you are, these information can help you. Who knows if I am still around... The flames, while yet not happened, will consume everything I had known and come to care for. Maybe I will be able to destroy the link to my abilities completely. For that I need to break. My soul is old. I have lived many lives, while I can't remember them when being awake, my dreams had told me enough."

The video massage ended there. Leaving a shocked and confused team of Torchwood three. They needed a few moments to gather their wits again. Insecure and doubtful they looked at each other. The name Rose Tyler had hurt Jack deeply and in his eyes was so much pain as well as determination. Just when Gwen wanted to ask if what she believed to have heard was even possible, a second message started.  
Ianto looked hurt and had several bruises. In his clear blue eyes lay deep sadness. His voice was hushed: "I don't have much time. I will rearrange a couple of my memories and hope for the best. Torchwood Three, should I ever be able to get your forgiveness, I am grateful. I have seen the possibilities of Lisa destroying you but also of managing her being restored. I need to try... I own her that... I am so sorry. You all would have been wonderful friends if we both tried... Should it come to that I lose her for good, help me. I will need you for I won't be able to access my rearranging memory ability from now on. Only If I should be unable to cope, I will reset and the price will be high. It is always high. You can't erase gifts without giving something as important away. In my case it will be my capability of self-worth. I will need you to rebuild it... help me."

Another black screen another torturing pause until a third record started. It was of a much more stressed and emotionless looking Ianto. The team realized it was a Ianto Jones in his suspension time. Like he had spoken in the medical bay he whispered: "I can´t believe I still have flashes of future possibilities... they should have been gone. We shouldn't go to Brecon Beacons. But we will, I am certain. My mind tries to sever the connection to my empathy but after Lisa... after that thing has perished, my fixpoint to concentrate all my empathy on had been shattered. I feel even from here your guilt and pity. And I am nowhere near any of you. It makes me sick. I can't sleep because my walls are broken. I can't eat because I always feel nauseated. I need to do something... anything... I just hope by the time we returned from the field trip I will be able to strengthen my natural walls again. If anything fails... You guys need to kill me. I can't continue... it´s too much. Another rearranging will destroy my sanity or what is left of it. I know I am asking a lot but please... kill me."

Dumbstruck and depressed the members of Torchwood Three sat in silence. The girl's cheeks were wet with tears and Owen had turned away at one point. Jack stood unmoving. Unbelieving. No human of this century or that before should be able to have such heightened awareness. Now he understood how Ianto was able to be so stealthy. How Ianto managed to meet everyone's needs. He hadn't been reading minds, Jack's own abilities would have told him. No, he had felt their emotions while staying stoic himself.  
Ianto had seen the void just like himself, but for that he had not died. And now he asked them to...

"We can't right? I mean... there must be a way to save him... I mean even maybe freeing him of his burden?", Gwen asked with fear and hope. She hadn't realized, that freeing him could be understand as killing him and therefore was shocked when Jack trained a pistol to her head. 

"J.. Jack?"

Tosh gasped and watched fearful of what could happened while Owen prepared to interfere.

"How do you dare to imply that it would be ok to kill him?!", Jack all but shouted. The confused expression of Gwen told him what he needed to know and he lowered his webley.  
"Think Gwen... think what you just said.”

When she replayed her words she understood the cause and looked downright terrified and disgusted with herself. "I am so sorry. I didn´t mean-"

Owen huffed: "That is the problem here, isn't it? We all say and do stuff without considering the implication it can have on someone else. Especially someone who can sense emotions. Oh gosh... He must have felt all our emotions towards each other and got confused by how we acted... and from medical point of view consider this: He had lost over 700 people he worked with in Canary Wharf. He has felt each person's pain, angst and anger. An experience like Canary Wharf alone can destroy humans minds, that is if they are not feeling what others went through there as well. For him to be able to talk to people alone is... he is so much stronger than anyone I've ever known."

Silence rang heavy in the room. Each member were trying to process the information given to them.

Tosh was the first to brought something to their attention. "Guys... He said he was not the only project survivor?- What about the other two? Or this mysterious alien friend of his? Could they help?"

“Rose is dead but you are right, Tosh. Either this Rajesh Singh or his alien friend could be of help here. Therefore we need to find them.”, spoke Jack with a grim expression.


	7. Who are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhys is really a good man.
> 
> The team do what it can do best.
> 
> A friend comes into play.
> 
> Oh and Jack got (nearly) an emotional breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys please bear with me. it is difficult times and I would have prefered to use someone else as Iantos friend, but he simply wouldn't fit.  
> Still I hope you'll enjoy this rather short chapter.
> 
> Allons-y my friends.

Rhys was coming home from work when he found a stranger in front of his door. It was a middle aged man with light brown hair and crystal eyes. His clothes were a bit old fashioned and his sharp face told of a authorial person. Also something in his eyes told Rhys that he could be older and wiser than he already looked like. "Can I help you mister?", he asked wary.

Last time a stranger showed up in front of their home, they had tried to harm Gwen. But as soon as his concern were awoken, the stranger smiled at him and a soft soothing baritone said: "My name is John. I am here to give you a massage for Gwen. Could you phone her and tell her, that we will see what we can do to help them?"

As soon as the man had started to speak Rhys felt safe and comfortable, as if they knew each other for years. Smiling widely he answered: "Sure no problem with that, lad. I am Rhys Williams. And would you want me to drop you of somewhere or are you gonna wait here?"  
Chuckling he said: "We will meet with them when we are ready. They need to have patience. Please tell her that she doesn't need to worry, for we know where to go."  
With that John left.

A few minutes later Gwen's phone rang and startled everyone. Before she could accept the call, Tosh had hacked into the signal and opened the line on speaker. Gwen sent her an appalled look than heard Rhys and wanted to tell Tosh to stop, when Rhys wouldn't stop in his excited rant: "Hi Gwen, I know you're still busy. I have got news tough! A curly haired man calling himself John came over and left you a massage. He said they´re here to help you guys! And that you guys needed to have patience, they would try their best and come to you. Such a nice man. At first I was wary of him, but he was very friendly and had just this air of an honest person! Really nice. Anyway, when will you be able to come home?"  
Stunned Gwen replied: "As soon as this is sorted out. Thank you Rhys. Love you." With that Tosh hung up for her.

  
They looked straight towards Jack, who sighed and said: “We can only hope, that they are friends of Ianto. Until they contact us again, we will continue our attempts. Tosh, you and Owen will search the old database from Torchwood One. I want each and every employees name which started working there between 1999 and 6 months before their destruction.”

Toshiko nodded and replied shortly: “Sure, Jack!”, pulling a grumbling Owen with her.

Then Jack looked over at Gwen and continued: “You will dig in the police archives about each and all cases of teenagers running away from home around the year 1994 and later. Whenever you find something which was conducted to neatly, too flawlessly you will dig deeper into it.”  
The Ex-PC´s eyes widen comically as she considered her workload. But soon she set her mind to it and her face showed determination. “You can count on me Jack!”, she declared and was on her phone barking orders at her former police fellows.

Meanwhile Jack went down to Ianto. He was thinking about all those secrets Ianto had efficiently kept from them all. With trepidation he sat beside the comatose male. Gently he stoke a loose curl of the younger man´s forehead. “Tell me, Ianto”, he started. His voice barely above a whis-per  
“Tell me how much more are you keeping hidden from us all? You have been so brave in Brecon Beacons and…”, he trailed of and stood. Taking a few steps away from the bed he clenched his hands. A few seconds later he paced in front of the bed, running his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner.

“Damn you!“, he exclaimed suddenly. Full of rage. Rage against the young man laying nearly motionless and rage against himself for being so stupid. “YOU DECIEVED US ALL! YOU ARE A BLOODY TRAITOR! Hell you were a traitor even to Yvonne. But it explains so much…”  
With this he sank back on the chair and took tentatively Ianto's hand.

“You have been her personal assistant sure as hell put you in a dangerous but also powerful position. Powerful enough to falsify every document you could ever need. Whenever I thought I had figured you out, BANG there you go and throw something new in my face. You are an enig-ma, Jones, Ianto Jones. This stays between us, yeah?” While Jack rambled on, he had started to stroke the Welshman’s hand with his thumb. Now he leaned a bit forward. Blue eyes clouded by pain and adoration were fixed onto the sleeping face. The well-shaped soft looking and good tasting lips were enticing to Jack. He desperately wanted to lean just a bit further and claim those lips again.

His own neared Ianto's. In the last moment he remembered how the young man viewed himself and stopped. Yet instead of withdrawing completely, which in retro perspective would have been the sensible option, the boeshanian man placed his lips softly on the others forehead. A few seconds he stayed in this position.

A silent tear broke free and dropped onto Ianto’s cheek, trailing down and finally finding a home in Ianto’s hair. Another tear soon joined the first one and Jack withdraw. He took his face in his hands and sobbed. He had failed so many and so often. A softly breathed 'Jack' stopped his sobbing. He wished roughly with one sleeve over his face and looked hopefully towards the other human. Nothing. Sad eyes closed one more time before the look was replaced by a gentle and also determine glint. "No matter what else you are hiding, Ianto, I'll make an effort to get to know you. I promise you. But for that we need you back. Hold on, Jones Ianto Jones."

And Jack left the Welshman, knowing full well if he didn't, he really would kiss him.

 

Unbeknownst to the team, Ianto’s telepathic mind had reached out to his former friends and also to his new ones, strengthen their will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who wonders, yep I dared to do exactly that. Next chapter will be not in time, at least to my knowledge today.  
> till next time


	8. Rajesh and Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Ianto´s friends become aware of the situation.
> 
> Sometimes not even different realities are real bounderies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, when I told you I won´t update intime, I didn´t intent to need more than four days longer.  
> I am totally sorry.  
> That´s why you´ll get the next chapter from coming sunday tomorrow.
> 
> I really try to stay incharacter as much as possible but... Sometimes I get carried away.

Singh had fled Torchwood Tower before everything went down the gutter. He had been more than glad to be away and while it did make him sad to hear of his friends and colleagues fate, he was also quite happy that it hadn't been him. Sure, he often thought about Rose and Ianto, as they had survived just like him, but he didn't dare to contact either. He knew of Rose fate, from the other reality she had send him a good bye and he had felt Ianto’s pain all the way back to India, where he had gone back to his ancestral home. It worked in his favour, that he had come back with a lot of money. It had been long since the last time he had felt something from Ianto or Rose, which was why he woke in the middle of the night vomiting and quivering when the dull echo of Ianto Jones mind resonated in his.

Ianto had put himself in great danger once again and Rajesh really didn't know one single being less deserving of so much pain like him. He hated what he was about to do. When he had finished retching he took a quick shower and cleaned his vomit. Then he sat down on his bed and contemplating how to follow through with his slowly forming plan. He was sure that Rose, where ever she currently was, had felt the same sickening feeling and hopefully was taking precautions like him. As much as he hated his former Torchwood life, he was very willingly to die for Ianto. The Welshman had helped him to flee. After all this time, it was still a sharp memory of his. 

 

\---before Torchwood fell--- 

He had known the moment he woke that something was changed. He wasn't Rajesh Singh anymore. Or better, he didn't feel like Rajesh. It was like something new was added. Something protective. He had been confused as to why only two other participants of the project where in hospital with him. He was given answers not by the stuff but by the otherwise quiet Welshman. 

"You really don’t remember?", he had been asked by Ianto.

Still in a haze Rajesh had said:" If I would, I wouldn’t ask, would I now? But obviously you do. So, spill it Jones. What happened?"

Ianto was biting his lower lip and kneaded his hands. It was more than obvious now that the Welshman knew something. And that something wouldn't sit well with Rajesh.

He waited a few seconds until he dared to look Rajesh in the eyes. He knew that his own were still wide and wild. He could feel the lingering touch of the void and while his brain knew he had seen it, the manipulated memories let him not feel the experience as his own. It was an interesting and disturbing feeling. "It's not easy to explain, Rajesh."

 

The Indian was giving the other his space. He had worked closely enough with Ianto, to know that he was not backing out, but needed time to asses and decide on what was important and what was too gruesome. 

Ianto sighed and started to explain in a whisper.

He was told about the Ghost Shift Project, how it failed. How only the three of them stayed somewhat sane and the other 12 survivors had already killed themselves. Leaving Yvonne with little to no choice but to try to retcon the three of them. In the hope that she could persuade them into trying again in the future. Gladly or sadly for Ianto, he always had been resistant to that stuff and therefor was now able to help his friends.

Rajesh’s eyes widen and the more information he got the more he felt like vomiting. That was sick. If only half of what Ianto told him was true, Yvonne was past insanity. 

"And... she really wants to try again?", Rajesh whispered unbelievingly.

"Hm", made Ianto non-comically. It was sick to consider trying once again and Rajesh wanted to go home or hide around the world where none could find him. 

"I know how you feel, Rajesh my friend. I can try to help you escape. Oh, don't look this shocked. I wouldn’t stay if it wasn’t for Lisa. Rose over here will most likely stay as well... Yet that doesn't mean you need to be here. I believe it to be safer for all of us if at least one survivor stays as far away as possible. She will throw a tantrum, but she won't be able to restart with only two test subjects."

Rajesh knew his friend was right. While Hartman was a risk-taking woman, she couldn't restart the project with less than three subjects. The only question was how Ianto was going to help him. In the end Ianto was very creative and very soon had a full plan to smuggle him out.

\----present---

Rajesh was more than grateful for Ianto’s assistance. Feeling now how much pain his friend suffered and not being close enough to help him made Rajesh angry with himself. He paced in his office and was considering driving into his lab when he felt the bound flaring up once again. This time it was the end from Rose. It was tuned down, like he was hearing muffled sounds under water. Still he felt the anger and helplessness through it and knew instantly that he wasn't the only one making plans to save Ianto. With new hope in his heart, he finally packed everything and was on his way back to London.

 

Rose had felt the agony from her friend even in the other reality. She and the Meta-crisis Doctor had been having dinner when a sudden headache formed. At first it had been only a dull throbbing pain, not unlike that of a beginning cold. But very soon it got worst, and Rose became dizzy until she fainted. She awoke much later in serious pain and completely wet from sweat. Her parents of this reality looked very concerned and had a doctor come over to check on her. Rose tried to swallow her frustration and played along, letting the others believe it to be a serve case of cold, but nothing worst. As soon as she was left alone with her vision of the doctor she grabbed his hands and whispered frankly: "A friend of mine is in danger! We must find a way to contact the doctor from my home reality!"

"Rose, you're sure you want to do that?", asked the Meta-crisis doctor. A couple of months ago Rose and he had found out about the whole reality swap. Or better, he had found out. For rose it seemed not so much a surprise. And it had explained why she had reacted so strongly about Torchwood One. They had gone to the memorial place and the blonde woman had searched frankly the names from the fallen humans. As frantic as she had been she stopped abruptly in front of one name. The Meta-crisis Doctor had stopped next to her and looked on the name. It had rang a bell with him, but he couldn't place it completely. The name of-

"It's Ianto. Ianto Jones needs my, our help. Rajesh must have felt it too. I wasn't aware of our connection still being in place but... I'll try to send them both a massage. Doc, please... we need to help him!", pleaded Rose with her lover. 

 He knew one day he would regret it, but right know he was only concerned about the fate of the human known as Ianto Jones. Because whoever that man was, he had played a great role in his Lovers life and he had the Feeling also in his own. With a grim expression and tense body, he said: "We will find a way!"

 


	9. Massage received and a harsh decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy thinks that Torchwood isn´the real troublemaker.
> 
> Owen and Jack are discussing a tough topic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tense I wanted to stick to ran away with the rest of my brain. I am totally sorry for using different tenses but somehow it sounded right.
> 
> All faults are mine, as always.  
> Oh and yeah Andy got a minor role in this story as well...

 

It had been another three days since Torchwood had been contacted by anyone or was seen by Cardiff population.

Currently the police were more than tired as for the time being they had taken over all the stuff Torchwood normally dealt with. And Andy swore the next time anyone in Cardiff complained about Torchwood and them destroying more than setting straight, he would arrest that person himself. Never had he thought that all this alien crap was real, or that there were some aliens having a legal citizenship and/ or running businesses. On the bright side, as a close friend of the former PC Copper, now known as Torchwood hellhound, he was currently the most desired team partner and had been promoted to the head of the new crisis committee. Named: Doing fucking Torchwoods work.

The blonde male wasn't so sure, if he wanted to know why Torchwood wasn't showing up on any alien related crime scene anymore. He somewhat missed the captain with his flaring 40's military coat, the shy yet very cute japanese high-tech specialist, the grumpy but efficient medic and his former partner Gwen, jumping out of a not complete and definitely not correctly parked SUV, marching up and shooing everyone away.

As it was, the last he knew of Torchwood was Gwen giving everyone at the police station their run for the money as to why there were so many lousy conducted missing reports of run-away teenagers from the 90's.

Right now was Andy on his way home, his boss literally shoving him out his temporary office and into his car. He listen to some old audio mix on his mp3player. But somehow, he felt that something was of. He was pretty sure that his mix had been alphabetically, and he hadn't put titles more than once in it. As soon as he was home he took his mp3 player inside and plugged it into the computer. When he opened the file, he shuddered. His favourite titles were rearranged so that when he read the list from up to down he could read "HELP TORCHWOOD. HELP JONES"

It was high time to phone Gwen.

\---- 

The only contact they have had was with Rhys who once again brought food and some clothes. He had been very worried and so Jack had ordered Gwen to spent a few hours with him away from work. That time was used by the others to take a break as well.

Owen had been contemplating how to approach Jack about the current state of the Welshman but knew he needed to discuss it, better sooner than later. 

So shortly before Gwen came back he knocked on Jack´s office door, where Jak had gone to for his break.

"Enter!", came the tired response. The doctor knew that all of them were tired and what they did was highly unhealthy, but he didn't care. He entered the office and seated himself opposite Jack. Both man studied each other before Owen stated what was clearly hanging between them. "We can't go on like that- Don't, I know what you think I am talking about but I'm not. Let me explain, before you explode, Jack."

He waited and got the petulantly nod he had expected. So, he continued: "What I am most concerned about is not our own health. We all are grownups and know where our boundaries are. If we wish to push past them, that’s our own fault. I am concerned about Ianto’s. He had been in a comatose state for the past six days. We don't have the equipment to keep that up and somehow healthy for him."

"What are you implying, Owen?", the captain knew what Owen said to be true. He had visited Ianto each day twice and seen how the coma had started to take its toll on the Welshman.

"I mean that if we keep him in that sate he will die. We need to wake him up. Before you ask about it, the cryosleep in his state is no option. I had Tosh run simulations already. It would damage him more than anything. To wake him is our only option, Jack. Therefore, let me wake him up."

"And then? He will be awake, but he won't be himself. He simple would believe to be...", Jack couldn't speak about Ianto in that way. He knew he was known as a cold-hearted bastard most times. But there were times like this, when all his faults, all his self-hatred and all his feelings crashed onto him. 

"He will behave like he had before, most likely yes. Still, it is the best option we have at the moment. As long as we haven't found this Rajesh Singh, while Tosh believes him to hide somewhere in India, or that alien friend we can't do much. Gwen had narrowed down the reports to three and as far as we know you hadn't any luck with your connections?"

When Jack shook his head in response Owen continued: "So we must wake him now- and I regret to say- but play along with his ideas of his role here. So, Jack, you gotta put up your best acting and keep playing the playboy, who hired him to fuck him. While we others will continue our work."

Bile rose in his throat when he registered that it was the only option they had. So instead of answering verbally he gave a grave nod and inwardly cursed the universe. After Owen left he smashed his inventory, mostly his alcohol stock, and made a fine chaos out of his office. He had always been a good con man, he knew how to con others. But the most important rule for that was not to get involved with those he planned on conning. And fuck it, he couldn't deny that he was involved with Ianto Jones.

While Jack destroyed his office, Owen had taking Tosh along and went to Ianto. Both were concerned how Ianto would react. Also they needed to remind themselves that what they were about to do was the right thing. Owen prepared a needle to counteract the sedative and Tosh sat beside Ianto. They had agreed on waiting to see what kind of story Ianto would conduct himself, before they told him anything, which could trigger him and made him even more vulnerable. They didn't have to wait long before the youngest in their midst started to wake and sat up disoriented.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto is confused.
> 
> Later part will be a bit explit. (Hence new warning and rating.)
> 
> A bit of pityparty on Jack´s account.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I like to warn your beforehand. I haven´t wrote pronographic or explicated content in a long while. Therefore I can´t guarantee anything.
> 
> Still I hope you will enjoy the chapter  
> See ya.

Ianto blinked a few times and tried to remember how he found himself in the medical-bay once again. But it simple wouldn't come to him, which let him panic. His eyes searched between Owen and Tosh, but he still didn't find a clue as to what was going on. One moment he had been taken here for the medical exam, for whatever reason, the next he wakes disoriented. he tried to clear his throat as it feels like he had shallowed a bucket of sand and was gladly accepting the cup of water which Tosh gave him. After a few gulps he was able to ask: “Why am I here? Shouldn't I be working?"

Owen exchanged a glance with the Asian woman but responded anyway: "When I exanimated you, you passed out. We kept you in a comatose state because we weren't so sure if you weren't infected by some alien disease. Luckily for you, that wasn't the case, teaboy. Soooo go get yourself ready again and make us some decent coffee. I swear if I have to drink one more cup of instant while your work here, I’ll going to quit."

With a strained smile Tosh added: "Jack was unbearable the whole time. Whatever you do to keep him nice and polite, could you please restart your magic? Gwen, Owen and I are working on a very important project and Jack had been hovering over us like a hawk all the time. Getting anything done was nearly impossible."

 

Ianto, who still believed his place to be that of a slave was understandable glad that he was still needed, despite his missed workdays. It meant also that his workforce had been missed and Jack´s bad mood, which could be of many reasons if not for the suggestive tone of Tosh, told him that he had secured his place in Torchwood, due his position in Jacks bed. So, smiling softly to himself he reassured Tosh and Owen that he will get to work as soon as he changed and freshen himself up.

Owen and Tosh left him to his devises, therefore he didn't see the concerned look they exchanged and the frustration between them.

They didn't know when but as they re-entered the conference room the found freshly brewed coffee at their usual places. Even a cup for Gwen was placed and only Jacks was missing. They could already guess why. The thought alone made them sick.

 

 

As soon as he was left to himself, Ianto had taken the fresh clothes and went for a quick shower while the coffee machine was heating up. He shaved after he distributed the coffee for the team members in the conference room as it was obvious for him that they had shifted their project there. He made mental notes as what was missing and what the team needed for a more comfortable and easier work. 'But not now, Jones. Currently your boss is waiting.' With a grave sigh he checked himself once again. While it had made him happy to hear that he was needed, he wasn't so keen on sleeping with Jack just yet again. Something inside him felt off. Warning him against rush actions. But why so suddenly?

Nonetheless he knocked softly on the office door, only for it to be flung open.

Both men starred at each other. Jack had thought that Owen had reconsidered, and they weren't going to wake the Welshman, only to find himself lost when he stood in front of aforementioned.

Ianto felt the others man shock and insecurities, which aided in his resolve to play whatever role Jack needed him to play. This Jack in front of him wasn't the brave and strong hero he always projected to the world. It was a man lost in a world which didn't understand him. Just like Ianto himself. In this moment, he felt connected on a new level and somehow the shy kiss he gave Jack, didn't felt as false as the first one a few weeks prior.

Taken aback by Ianto’s initiative Jack only responded in kind. His lips moving slightly and without haste against those of the younger man. Slowly his arms sneaked around Ianto and he embraced him carefully. They stumbled back inside Jack’s office and shut the door without really looking. Ianto had slung his arms around Jack´s neck and breathed in the pheromones which had always excited him.

Jack's hands caressed his back attentively and unhurriedly. It felt as if he really cared for Ianto. 'Stupid, why should he care for you. The only thing you can give him is your body and even that is nothing unique in this world.', as much as Ianto tried to tell himself that he was just the easy slut for Jack, the other man’s touches and careful placed kisses suggested otherwise and it scared the Welshman. Breaking the kissing to get much needed breath, he started to put a bit of distance between them. "Sir?", he asked in his most vulnerable voice, knowing well enough what that did to Jack.

 

Jack had been caught off guard when Ianto had stood in front of his office and then shyly kissed him. It had felt too much like home and security. He wanted to never let go again. In that moment he believed that the past months had only been terrible dreams and neither the Cyberwoman incident nor Brecon had happened. Therefore, he also hadn't screwed up. And for a short moment, where they gazed in each other’s eyes, he could tell himself that they had something special between them. And then Ianto spoke in that vulnerable voice. That dreaded voice he had heard only twice before. Once when Ianto had pleaded for Lisa’s life and the other time... Jack shuddered at the remembrance. Yet he couldn't deny what that tone did to him. He was bothered, hot, and his dick told him clearly that he needed to get off, preferable with the owner of that voice.

"Ianto... I was worrying about you.", he reminded himself that he needed to remain his pretence. Ianto needed to believe his role being established. As much as he hated to do this to the brave and strong man in front of him, Jack would do what he needed to do, to keep Ianto´s sanity or what was left of it. If Ianto needed him to be heartless and a bastard, he would become that. He owned Ianto as much.

"I am sorry, Sir. Is there any way I can compensate you for your worry?", the dark-haired male asked, while putting as much accent into the words as possible.

 

'He really begs for me to fuck him... Damn you Jones. Why can't you for once be uncomplicated?', thought Jack.

A low animalistic groan escaped his lips before he pulled the Welshman closer once again. Now he had him flush against his chest and pressed Ianto’s head into the crook of his neck. The other hand had cupped Ianto’s ass and pushed his pelvis the closest possible, making the younger man feel the hardness of his groin. Before he could do something, he would regret Jack nuzzled Ianto’s hair with his nose and said: “We´re still working, but for now I could need a helping hand. as you surely can feel for yourself."

It was the least he was able to enjoy right now without getting an even worst consciousness. They had been going through a lot more the past month but since he has been told that Ianto wasn't into it like he had been, his lust had been reduced drastically. He knew how to play the part. He had had to sleep with people, whose he was attrected to in various degrees. Some he had felt repulsed with, but he had needed one thing or the other and it was part of his role.

 

Ianto hoped dearly that his leader still needed him in his bed. After all, better such a low purpose in life than none at all, right?

All the reactions were proving that and so the Welshman upped his game. Leaning into the hug, Ianto stretched his head so he could brush his lips over Jacks pulse point. The effect was instantly. Jack 's breath hitched and the strong tact of life under his lips quickened. letting his hands trail over the strong chest down towards Jack’s pants. Brushing his fingertips over the edge of the crotch he was rewarded with a low growl.

Grinning, Ianto slipped his hand into the pants and directly found the hardening flesh of Jack's cock. He had come to relish in the feeling of doing this to a man like Jack. It meant he was good at something. Peeling himself out of the embrace Ianto sank too his knees and opened the zip and fly of Jack´s pants. When the hard length was freed, he took it expertly into his mouth and gave a sharp suck. He had enough pratice by now to know what Jack wanted and needed and how. He may felt used sometimes, but he had learned to enjoy giving Jack what he wanted and taking his own pleasure out of it all.

While in the past Ianto’s action would have been more than welcomed, right now Jack felt sick with himself. Never had he felt so betrayed by his own body like now. His penis and his libido reacted on the feeling of familiar lips and the wet cave. The hot swirl of the delicious tongue and the right amount of suction as well as sharp teeth teasing him relentlessly. All Jack could do was losing himself in the moment and hating himself for it.

All in all, it was faster over than Ianto had expected and later than Jack had wished for.

Ianto waited patiently on his knees after he had shallowed Jack´s cum. He looked up under his dark lashes and in his eyes was a ferocity, which took the older man´s breath away and made his cock twitch once again. As Ianto could sense that he nuzzled Jack´s cock lovingly. The immortal guided Ianto up again and once again hugged him tightly, lovingly. Ianto leaned into the embrace and hide his resigned eyes.

If an outsider watched the scene, they would never guess that Ianto believed himself a whore and Jack felt like the worst man in the universe.


	11. Not the finest move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen acts up.  
> Rajesh arivel is discussed.
> 
> Oh and can someone go and embrace Jack and Ianto?  
> They need all the love they can get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is more or less a filler but explains why certain things are necessary to maintain the way they are.

When Gwen came back a clean hub and overall fully stocked desk greeted her. Additionally, the smell of fresh perfect coffee let her mouth water and she was confused as to how it smelled as good as Ianto´s.

Soon after she entered the conference room her eyes widen as Ianto stood amongst their collected effort to save him. Unable to speak she simple starred at him.

Ianto in turn smiled briefly and took her bags away pressing a mug of freshly brewed coffee into her hand. Then he said: "Welcome back Gwen, I will do the grocery shopping from now on again. I am sorry for causing you so much trouble." And out he was.

Owen and Tosh jerked when they heard Ianto´s greeting and looked after him. With resolution all three started their work again. "Any news about this Rajesh Singh?", asked the Welshwoman after a few minutes.

Tosh made an unintelligent noise before she replied: "If the data I get is correct, a man named Rajesh Singh has booked a flight to London. He should arrive at nine thirty tomorrow morning. But there are hundreds of Rajesh Singh’s. We don't even know if it is the one we need."

"But it is all we have, isn't it? So, who will go and look if it is Rajesh. I mean we do have the old Torchwood One profile pictures...", asked Gwen.

Owen said sarcastically: "Oh right as if any of us would know if it is THE Rajesh we need when he would stand right in front of us. It has been two years Gwen. I doubt he kept his features the same.... Or do you look like two yours prior?"

Gwen bit her lip and tried not to let Owens pessimistic thinking get her down. But she had to concede that it was only logical for Rajesh to change as much as possible. And knowing Ianto, he would have made a lot possible for his fellow. 

"Yet it is our only lead-", she started to argue back only to be interrupted by Jack. "Which is why me and Ianto will drive to London. If this Rajesh is our man, he could trigger some memory in Ianto. That could make him himself again. And even if not, at least Rajesh would recognize Ianto."

 

In a quiet voice, because she really didn't want to voice her concern, Tosh said: "In **both** cases it could go horrible wrong. If Ianto remembers parts he really can't handle, in his current mental state, he could suffer through PTSD and become _**catatonic**_. If Rajesh sees him and remembers, Rajesh could bolt. And that is assuming Rajesh had not rearranged memories. Either done by himself or Ianto."

Gloomy Jack threw himself on his chair and starred forlorn.

None of team Three new what to do but they needed to check if it was their man or not. Taking the initiative, Owen asked: "What alternatives do we have Tosh?"

Pushing her glasses back up her nose, Tosh clicked a bit on her computer before she answered: „To be honest, we have three. First one, I hack into every surveillance around the airport and let the face camera search for him. Second one, anyone from us will stand guard on the terminal he should do his check out and we scan each face from close. Third one: We really take Ianto there and risk his health."

A warning growl escaped Jack and he stated firmly: "Under  **no** circumstances will I allow that! Ianto will stay here!"

Just in this moment said man entered the room with a tray of refreshments and put them down accurately. With baited breath the three members who knew what kind of story had been told watched Ianto like a hawk. It was all not a safe terrain and they hated the stiffness in Ianto’s movement.

When he finished, Ianto straighten and smiled his most flirtatious smile: "Sir, I beg your pardon, but you have immediate matters in your office to attend to. I took the liberty to organize them and think that you could need my help there?"

It was clear to all of them that Ianto’s offer had more to do with sex than actual work and it made Jack shudder, not in the good way mind you.

Yet, before Gwen could ruin their play, Jack plastered his most disarming smile on his lips and stood with a flourish motion. "What a wonderful offer, Ianto! Thank you. We really should get started. Would you go ahead, and bring a thermos with coffee into my office? So, we wouldn't need to stop until everything is done."

"Ah, yes Sir.", the Welshman left with a little swagger in his steps, only visible to watchful eyes.

As soon as the door has closed Gwen exploded: "JACK!  **How could you** **encourage him**!"

"Gwen, please clam down."

Slap. Jacks cheek stung terrible and started to turn red from the impact. "How dare you! He was right, you know? You are a monster!", shrieked Gwen. She was about to hit Jack once again when Tosh positioned herself in front and Owen held her arm from behind, shielding Jack and restraining Gwen.

Before Gwen could lash out on them, Tosh spoke soothingly: "It is for Ianto´s mental state the safest action we have. If Ianto really believes himself to be... to have been hired to satisfy sexual needs, and having done it on a routine, he needs the stability of that routine. Otherwise he could get even more instable and we would have the same effect meeting Rajesh could have, catatonic state."

With that comment Gwen deflated visibly and shook her head. She argued: "There must be another way. Why have you awoken him anyway? Him not working and sleeping instead-"

“Gwen this isn't the bloody flu! He is mentally instable now. He needs a functional and stable life. Letting him stay comatose would have killed him. His body would soon start to fail him as we have no means for long term coma. same with the cryo chambers. His only survival chance is letting him continue while we work out a way to find his friends and they hopefully can help!", tried Owen to explain it to the still upset woman.

Gwen knew it, but that didn't mean she had to like it. So huffing indignantly for being restraint at least, she gave a sharp nod. Neither was very fond of what they were doing, but all knew it was the only way. 

Their only comfort was their common ground and their hope that Rajesh´s arivel will change things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little spoiler:  
> guess who will show up?
> 
> I really do love a big get to gather ;-)


End file.
